Before Feeling Sorry for Yourself, Ask: Is This Helping Me?

Life isn’t always fair. Plans fall apart, people disappoint us, and challenges arise when we least expect them. In those moments, it’s easy to slip into self-pity—to dwell on how things should have been, to feel like a victim of circumstance. But before giving in to that mindset, pause and ask yourself: Is this helping me?

Self-pity feels comforting at first. It validates our frustration, gives us an excuse to retreat, and allows us to blame external forces for our struggles. But does it change anything? Does it move us forward? Or does it just keep us stuck?

The truth is that feeling sorry for yourself rarely leads to action. It drains your energy, clouds your judgment, and makes you focus on wwhat'swrong instead of what you can do. Meanwhile, the world keeps moving—whether or not you choose to move with it.

Instead of indulging in self-pity, shift your perspective. Accept what has happened, acknowledge the frustration, and ask: What’s next? What can you learn from this? How can you move forward? That’s where real strength comes from—not dwelling on what went wrong but choosing to rise despite it.

Difficult moments will come, but they don’t have to define you. What defines you is how you respond. So next time you feel tempted to feel sorry for yourself, ask the simple question: Is this helping me? If the answer is no, let it go and take the next step forward.