What We Control and What We Don’t

One of life’s most liberating lessons is distinguishing between what is within our control and what is not. As Epictetus reminds us, our chief task is to recognize this distinction: we can control our thoughts, actions, and responses, but not external events, others’ opinions, or outcomes. This clarity is the foundation of a peaceful and purposeful life.

But there’s more to it. Once you’ve identified what is within your control, you unlock an even greater truth: you always have a choice in how you approach it. Your attitude, perspective, and method of handling a situation are yours to decide. Whether reframing a challenge, responding with patience, or choosing to let go, the power to act remains firmly in your hands.

For instance, you can’t control someone’s criticism of you, but you can see it as constructive feedback rather than a personal attack. You may not control the outcome of a project, but you can decide to give it your best effort, regardless of the results. This freedom to choose how you respond is where your true strength lies.

When you focus on what you can control and embrace the ability to approach it differently, you reclaim your energy and focus. You’re no longer at the mercy of external circumstances but empowered to act with intention and clarity. This dual practice—accepting what’s outside your influence and exercising choice over what’s within—creates a robust framework for navigating life with resilience and wisdom.